Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wordless Wednesday
First harvest of the year. ♥ ((and I know this is to be wordless, but I was so excited I fell off the deck and skinned a knee rushing to harvest these bad boys heh))
Monday, June 27, 2011
Why do I need titles when it is just rambles?
I really don't have anything of interest to talk about right now, but I felt like I was overdue for a blogpost..
After my last post, things took a change for the better. I ended up talking to a friend that evening, and met up with them and a few others for a drink to get out of the house and get my mind off of the crummy day I had had. All 3 of the people who I had texted texted back and offered up some great words of encouragement.. HOWEVER, the friend who bailed on me without warning never actually got back to me to explain what happened or apologize for their behaviour. What can ya do?
I did realize that the power of these situations IS in my own hands. I really don't like the fact that I tend to be a 'tad' over emotional at times and tend to let situations get out of my control pretty quickly when I am feeling strongly. I am not saying that being an emotional person is a BAD thing - in my line of work it is a benefit as I work with people who need someone to REALLY care about them and their well being. In my personal life though - sometimes caring too much can be the wind on a house of cards..
Never the less, I am feeling much better and trying to take things with a grain of salt.
On a different note, the reading challenge I decided to partake in is going amazingly well! I just finished the 13th book last night (in one day at that - once I got started after work I just couldn't put it down!)..
Here are the next chunk of books that I have read:
June:
9) 90 Minutes In Heaven - Don Piper
http://www.amazon.ca/90-Minutes-Heaven-Story-Death/dp/0800759494/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309188306&sr=8-1
10) Girl Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen ((one of my favorite books that I have read a million times))
http://www.amazon.ca/Girl-Interrupted-Susanna-Kaysen/dp/0679746048/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188357&sr=1-1
11) Notes to Self - Andrea Buchanan
http://www.amazon.ca/Note-Self-Hardship-Humiliation-Heartbreak/dp/143919114X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188400&sr=1-2
12) She's Come Undone - Wally Lamb
http://www.amazon.ca/Shes-Come-Undone-Wally-Lamb/dp/0671021001/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188429&sr=1-1
13) The Glass Castle - Jeannette Walls ((the one I couldn't put down))
http://www.amazon.ca/Glass-Castle-Memoir-Jeannette-Walls/dp/074324754X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188456&sr=1-1
After my last post, things took a change for the better. I ended up talking to a friend that evening, and met up with them and a few others for a drink to get out of the house and get my mind off of the crummy day I had had. All 3 of the people who I had texted texted back and offered up some great words of encouragement.. HOWEVER, the friend who bailed on me without warning never actually got back to me to explain what happened or apologize for their behaviour. What can ya do?
I did realize that the power of these situations IS in my own hands. I really don't like the fact that I tend to be a 'tad' over emotional at times and tend to let situations get out of my control pretty quickly when I am feeling strongly. I am not saying that being an emotional person is a BAD thing - in my line of work it is a benefit as I work with people who need someone to REALLY care about them and their well being. In my personal life though - sometimes caring too much can be the wind on a house of cards..
Never the less, I am feeling much better and trying to take things with a grain of salt.
On a different note, the reading challenge I decided to partake in is going amazingly well! I just finished the 13th book last night (in one day at that - once I got started after work I just couldn't put it down!)..
Here are the next chunk of books that I have read:
June:
9) 90 Minutes In Heaven - Don Piper
http://www.amazon.ca/90-Minutes-Heaven-Story-Death/dp/0800759494/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309188306&sr=8-1
10) Girl Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen ((one of my favorite books that I have read a million times))
http://www.amazon.ca/Girl-Interrupted-Susanna-Kaysen/dp/0679746048/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188357&sr=1-1
11) Notes to Self - Andrea Buchanan
http://www.amazon.ca/Note-Self-Hardship-Humiliation-Heartbreak/dp/143919114X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188400&sr=1-2
12) She's Come Undone - Wally Lamb
http://www.amazon.ca/Shes-Come-Undone-Wally-Lamb/dp/0671021001/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188429&sr=1-1
13) The Glass Castle - Jeannette Walls ((the one I couldn't put down))
http://www.amazon.ca/Glass-Castle-Memoir-Jeannette-Walls/dp/074324754X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309188456&sr=1-1
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Changes in life happen in a heart beat.
It's amazing how fast your day can go from amazing to horrible..
My day started off at the Farmer's Market scooping up fresh asparagus, jalapeno relish for my sis, and a new aloe plant followed by a wonderful hour long walk in what could be a perfect day weather wise.
Glorious!
I got myself dolled up for a night out with a friend who I haven't seen in ages... THEN, I was stood up by this same friend.. who I tried messaging on FB, texting and calling. Nothing. Nada.
I was a little disappointed by his behaviour, and bummed out to be spending Saturday night home alone when I actually don't have to work in the morning and can stay out... SO, I went to sit outside for a few moments to enjoy the nice night and as I was coming back in.... BAM. Ran right into my ex coming out ((Side note for anyone who is not following: Last year after we had broken up, he moved into my apartment complex and we ended up getting back together.. and broke up again a few months earlier)). He gave me a completely evil and icy look.. I squeaked out a 'thank you' as he was kinda holding open the door.. or not really? Just trying to get out, perhaps.. I don't know.. He didn't acknowledge it and went on his way..
I am apparently hanging on by a thread these days (Hello regression) as I scuttled inside, started shaking and crying.
I texted my sister and two girlfriends for some encouragement.. and got no reply from two and a "What happened?" then no reply from the third. That was the icing on the cake - open the flood gates!
I am not sure WHAT is going on with me these days, to be honest.
Part of it is the fact that of my closest group of friends, I am the ONLY single person in the group. I feel like an outsider some days.. My loneliness is palpable. I find myself missing the aforementioned ex in these times.. I can't help but think that it wasn't that long ago that we were surfing the net for a place to move in together, taking about the future and such... I loved him with all my heart and here I am now. As much as I don't want to admit it, his presence in my life impacted me greatly.
I'm terrified that I will NEVER feel different from how I do right now, and that I may never meet someone I care about like I did the ex. I have been propositioned for dates by some great guys in the past while and declined as I just couldn't feel a connection...
It bothers me that so many of my posts are a pity party.. Sorry guys.
My day started off at the Farmer's Market scooping up fresh asparagus, jalapeno relish for my sis, and a new aloe plant followed by a wonderful hour long walk in what could be a perfect day weather wise.
Glorious!
I got myself dolled up for a night out with a friend who I haven't seen in ages... THEN, I was stood up by this same friend.. who I tried messaging on FB, texting and calling. Nothing. Nada.
I was a little disappointed by his behaviour, and bummed out to be spending Saturday night home alone when I actually don't have to work in the morning and can stay out... SO, I went to sit outside for a few moments to enjoy the nice night and as I was coming back in.... BAM. Ran right into my ex coming out ((Side note for anyone who is not following: Last year after we had broken up, he moved into my apartment complex and we ended up getting back together.. and broke up again a few months earlier)). He gave me a completely evil and icy look.. I squeaked out a 'thank you' as he was kinda holding open the door.. or not really? Just trying to get out, perhaps.. I don't know.. He didn't acknowledge it and went on his way..
I am apparently hanging on by a thread these days (Hello regression) as I scuttled inside, started shaking and crying.
I texted my sister and two girlfriends for some encouragement.. and got no reply from two and a "What happened?" then no reply from the third. That was the icing on the cake - open the flood gates!
I am not sure WHAT is going on with me these days, to be honest.
Part of it is the fact that of my closest group of friends, I am the ONLY single person in the group. I feel like an outsider some days.. My loneliness is palpable. I find myself missing the aforementioned ex in these times.. I can't help but think that it wasn't that long ago that we were surfing the net for a place to move in together, taking about the future and such... I loved him with all my heart and here I am now. As much as I don't want to admit it, his presence in my life impacted me greatly.
I'm terrified that I will NEVER feel different from how I do right now, and that I may never meet someone I care about like I did the ex. I have been propositioned for dates by some great guys in the past while and declined as I just couldn't feel a connection...
It bothers me that so many of my posts are a pity party.. Sorry guys.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Do unto others..
So, this past week (on a rare day of where it wasn't raining!) I was able to get out to the vegetable garden I have planted at a friend's house. I ended up spending two hours weeding and finishing planting a few more seeds that we hadn't had the opportunity to get in yet. There is something to be said about toiling in the soil. No matter the fact I was sweating like a hog and fighting off ants, I couldn't have imagined a better way to spend the day!
AND, the first tomato has made an appearance!
Hah! I know it isn't much, but it will be!
On a different note, I have also decided I am going to start up a volunteer job with a program called NODA. NODA stands for "No One Dies Alone". I haven't gotten the full scoop on the program YET, but from what I do know a few hospitals/long term care facilities in the city offer up this program where if an individual doesn't have any family/friends available/in the city you would be called to come in to sit with the person who is passing away.. basically so that the person is not alone in their final hours/moments before they die.
I know this sounds like an unusual volunteer job to take on. I have told a few friends about this program and my desire to volunteer and their reaction was less than enthused. They were actually somewhat confused as to WHY I would want to volunteer for such a program..
With one of my jobs I do currently work in a hospital, but with the type of work that I do and the type of patients I deal with I am not exposed to death on any sort of regular basis. I can't say I am 100% comfortable with it either.. From working in a hospital, I do know that many patients do NOT have anyone. Their spouse has passed away, their children are grown and not in province, no family.. etc. I regularly see how they enjoy being in hospital for the interactions with other people.. which is rather sad. I could not imagine how terrifying it would be for someone to be on their death bed and feeling that sort of isolation/loneliness.
If my simple act of sitting with someone talking to them, reading to them, holding their hand or just being there could bring them some peace in their final moments - how could I not do it?
I was actually unaware NODA existed until my best friend's mom told me about it - as she volunteers for the program. I was instantly intrigued.
After reading '90 Minutes In Heaven' recently it also made me think about the life in a hospital for someone who is dying/critically ill. In 90 Minutes, the author described his depression after the accident and how he shunned the people who cared about him. A line that stuck out for me came when a friend of the authors was telling him to allow the people who care about him to help him: "It's the only thing they have to offer you.." and how him denying simply actions like bringing a magazine were "cheating them out of an opportunity" to express their love.
While I won't know these people, I do think of myself as someone who cares for others. I can't stop the course of nature, but the gift that I can offer up to someone is being there for them.. I can't help but think if this was my loved one, I wouldn't want them to be alone. Even if this IS a stranger to me, they are a loved one to someone who certainly feels the same way.
AND, the first tomato has made an appearance!
Hah! I know it isn't much, but it will be!
On a different note, I have also decided I am going to start up a volunteer job with a program called NODA. NODA stands for "No One Dies Alone". I haven't gotten the full scoop on the program YET, but from what I do know a few hospitals/long term care facilities in the city offer up this program where if an individual doesn't have any family/friends available/in the city you would be called to come in to sit with the person who is passing away.. basically so that the person is not alone in their final hours/moments before they die.
I know this sounds like an unusual volunteer job to take on. I have told a few friends about this program and my desire to volunteer and their reaction was less than enthused. They were actually somewhat confused as to WHY I would want to volunteer for such a program..
With one of my jobs I do currently work in a hospital, but with the type of work that I do and the type of patients I deal with I am not exposed to death on any sort of regular basis. I can't say I am 100% comfortable with it either.. From working in a hospital, I do know that many patients do NOT have anyone. Their spouse has passed away, their children are grown and not in province, no family.. etc. I regularly see how they enjoy being in hospital for the interactions with other people.. which is rather sad. I could not imagine how terrifying it would be for someone to be on their death bed and feeling that sort of isolation/loneliness.
If my simple act of sitting with someone talking to them, reading to them, holding their hand or just being there could bring them some peace in their final moments - how could I not do it?
I was actually unaware NODA existed until my best friend's mom told me about it - as she volunteers for the program. I was instantly intrigued.
After reading '90 Minutes In Heaven' recently it also made me think about the life in a hospital for someone who is dying/critically ill. In 90 Minutes, the author described his depression after the accident and how he shunned the people who cared about him. A line that stuck out for me came when a friend of the authors was telling him to allow the people who care about him to help him: "It's the only thing they have to offer you.." and how him denying simply actions like bringing a magazine were "cheating them out of an opportunity" to express their love.
While I won't know these people, I do think of myself as someone who cares for others. I can't stop the course of nature, but the gift that I can offer up to someone is being there for them.. I can't help but think if this was my loved one, I wouldn't want them to be alone. Even if this IS a stranger to me, they are a loved one to someone who certainly feels the same way.
and to close, a beautiful song and beautiful video from Parachute Band.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Books!
I am an avid reader, to say the least.
When I was a young gal, my mom frequently took my sister and I took the public library and allowed us to take out books to our hearts desire., and I remember the stacks being HUGE. I actually recall when the library closest to my parents house left its small location and moved into a brand new building around the corner - I was beyond excited and babbled my excitement to the librarian when it opened.
I loved taking trips downtown (and still do) to the main library - 3 floors of books!!
As a young teen, I continued to lose myself in Sweet Valley High and Sleepover Club books.. As an older teen I really developed a love for sci-fi.. Despite what my writing style MAY look like (and I know it tends to be disorganized) I excelled in JR High and High school English - I have looked back at some essays I wrote when I would have been around 15 and the books I was reading were far beyond what someone my age would normally be reading..
As I got older, the love of reading never left me.. As an adult, I read way more than most people I know (Other than my mom).. I read in the evenings before bed and when I am doing my cardio at the gym.. and I read fast.
WHAT do I read? Fiction, non-fiction.. you name it. I have read some amazing works in both categories and in so many genres.
I am actually attempting to read 52 books in 52 weeks starting from May 1st.. I have no doubt that I can complete this task (and even surpass it) and look forward to the challenge!
Here is what I have read so far:
May
1.Heaven is for Real - Todd Burpo
http://www.amazon.ca/Heaven-Real-Little-Astounding-Story/dp/0849946158/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579047&sr=1-1
2. Poser: My Life in Twenty-three Yoga Poses - Claire Dederer
http://www.amazon.ca/Poser-Claire-Dederer/dp/0374236445/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579120&sr=1-1
3. Memory Palace - Mira Bartok
http://www.amazon.ca/Memory-Palace-Mira-Bartok/dp/1439183317/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579142&sr=1-1
4. The Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion
http://www.amazon.ca/Year-Magical-Thinking-Joan-Didion/dp/1400078431/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579187&sr=1-1
5. Still Alice - Lisa Genova
http://www.amazon.ca/Still-Alice-Lisa-Genova/dp/1439102813
6. Cockeyed - Ryan Knighton
http://www.amazon.ca/Cockeyed-Ryan-Knighton/dp/0143051857/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579211&sr=1-1
June
7. Your Voice Inside My Head - Emma Forrest
http://www.amazon.ca/Your-Voice-Head-Emma-Forrest/dp/030735931X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579238&sr=1-1
8. Fragile - Lisa Unger
http://www.amazon.ca/Fragile-Novel-Lisa-Unger/dp/0307393992/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579266&sr=1-1
Not too bad so far! 8 books (and the 9th under way) in 5 weeks..
Where do I find the books I read? I actually like to go onto Amazon, do a search for a book I really enjoyed then look at the recommendations they list of similar books and randomly take them out from the library.. I have found some great reads (and all the above listed books are excellent) and some not so great reads...
I plan to keep posting the books I have read.. I am just not too sure in what format I will do it - one post that I will keep updating? I will see...
When I was a young gal, my mom frequently took my sister and I took the public library and allowed us to take out books to our hearts desire., and I remember the stacks being HUGE. I actually recall when the library closest to my parents house left its small location and moved into a brand new building around the corner - I was beyond excited and babbled my excitement to the librarian when it opened.
I loved taking trips downtown (and still do) to the main library - 3 floors of books!!
As a young teen, I continued to lose myself in Sweet Valley High and Sleepover Club books.. As an older teen I really developed a love for sci-fi.. Despite what my writing style MAY look like (and I know it tends to be disorganized) I excelled in JR High and High school English - I have looked back at some essays I wrote when I would have been around 15 and the books I was reading were far beyond what someone my age would normally be reading..
As I got older, the love of reading never left me.. As an adult, I read way more than most people I know (Other than my mom).. I read in the evenings before bed and when I am doing my cardio at the gym.. and I read fast.
WHAT do I read? Fiction, non-fiction.. you name it. I have read some amazing works in both categories and in so many genres.
I am actually attempting to read 52 books in 52 weeks starting from May 1st.. I have no doubt that I can complete this task (and even surpass it) and look forward to the challenge!
Here is what I have read so far:
May
1.Heaven is for Real - Todd Burpo
http://www.amazon.ca/Heaven-Real-Little-Astounding-Story/dp/0849946158/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579047&sr=1-1
2. Poser: My Life in Twenty-three Yoga Poses - Claire Dederer
http://www.amazon.ca/Poser-Claire-Dederer/dp/0374236445/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579120&sr=1-1
3. Memory Palace - Mira Bartok
http://www.amazon.ca/Memory-Palace-Mira-Bartok/dp/1439183317/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579142&sr=1-1
4. The Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion
http://www.amazon.ca/Year-Magical-Thinking-Joan-Didion/dp/1400078431/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579187&sr=1-1
5. Still Alice - Lisa Genova
http://www.amazon.ca/Still-Alice-Lisa-Genova/dp/1439102813
6. Cockeyed - Ryan Knighton
http://www.amazon.ca/Cockeyed-Ryan-Knighton/dp/0143051857/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579211&sr=1-1
June
7. Your Voice Inside My Head - Emma Forrest
http://www.amazon.ca/Your-Voice-Head-Emma-Forrest/dp/030735931X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579238&sr=1-1
8. Fragile - Lisa Unger
http://www.amazon.ca/Fragile-Novel-Lisa-Unger/dp/0307393992/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307579266&sr=1-1
Not too bad so far! 8 books (and the 9th under way) in 5 weeks..
Where do I find the books I read? I actually like to go onto Amazon, do a search for a book I really enjoyed then look at the recommendations they list of similar books and randomly take them out from the library.. I have found some great reads (and all the above listed books are excellent) and some not so great reads...
I plan to keep posting the books I have read.. I am just not too sure in what format I will do it - one post that I will keep updating? I will see...
Friday, June 3, 2011
Hellllllo Friday!
Ahhh, Friday! I have so been looking forward to seeing you!
It has been a crazy week, to say the least. After not working as much as previous (aka too much), I have returned to my hectic work schedule with a crap load of extra shifts at both jobs. I keep trying to remind myself that the extra money will be nice (as I would love to first pay a little extra off in my car payments this month, and secondly to do a little shopping for some new summer clothing) and the fatigue and craziness at both jobs is worth it.
I'm very much looking forward to many events this weekend:
*A wedding social for a friend of mine this evening (and to see a friend from out of town who has come in for the social!)
*the opening of the Farmer's Market tomorrow out in St Norbert (where I spend every Saturday morning buying locally grown produce and various other locally made goods when I am not working from its opening weekend to closing)
*A surprise dinner for a co-worker tomorrow night followed by a bonfire (wherein I will proclaim: "Now that's a fire!" in honor of a friend of mine!)
It should be a great time.. I have also started attending a new church in the city, so I am looking forward to attending another service to see if it feels like the right 'fit' for me..
The sun is shining and it looks like it will stay that way all weekend.. Glorious! ♥
Have a good weekend all!
It has been a crazy week, to say the least. After not working as much as previous (aka too much), I have returned to my hectic work schedule with a crap load of extra shifts at both jobs. I keep trying to remind myself that the extra money will be nice (as I would love to first pay a little extra off in my car payments this month, and secondly to do a little shopping for some new summer clothing) and the fatigue and craziness at both jobs is worth it.
I'm very much looking forward to many events this weekend:
*A wedding social for a friend of mine this evening (and to see a friend from out of town who has come in for the social!)
*the opening of the Farmer's Market tomorrow out in St Norbert (where I spend every Saturday morning buying locally grown produce and various other locally made goods when I am not working from its opening weekend to closing)
*A surprise dinner for a co-worker tomorrow night followed by a bonfire (wherein I will proclaim: "Now that's a fire!" in honor of a friend of mine!)
It should be a great time.. I have also started attending a new church in the city, so I am looking forward to attending another service to see if it feels like the right 'fit' for me..
The sun is shining and it looks like it will stay that way all weekend.. Glorious! ♥
Have a good weekend all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)