Breaking up with a friend.
I've always had a soft spot for the underdog. My nature is such that if someone is 'flawed'/troubled/'injured' (whatever you want to call it) I want to protect them. I tend to see the 'good' in everyone, no matter what the 'bad' is... I firmly believe EVERYONE deserves a chance, no matter what their history is.
This, my readers, is where I have gotten myself into trouble.
I've dated some fellas that were trouble and maintained friendships that were just bad news.. which brings me to my current situation with a fella I will just call RG.
I will keep this short as possible.. RG and I met through an old boyfriend about 14 yrs ago. I hung out with RG often, even after the boyfriend and I realized we were better suited as friends..
RG has had a very hard life - his saint of a mother passed away when he was in his late teens from cancer leaving him to live with his alcoholic father who he despised (he often told me he wished it was his father who had passed away instead of his mom). His father passed away a few years later from the damage years of abusing alcohol did to him..
Fast forward a few years. I had lost contact with RG and the ex just due to life being life, but got back into contact with them. We began meeting up, the three of us, a few times a month to have drink. It was then I noticed that the ex and I would spend the evening chatting from everything religion, politics, art to music and general goofiness. RG never had anything to contribute and was generally just sullen and would get drunk.. RG was drinking too much, IMHO.
Again we lost contact and RG contacted me recently to see if I wanted to meet up...I agreed to get together for a coffee/drink Friday night.
Worst. Decision. Ever.
Long story short: RG recently broke up with his gf (who both have been arrested for physically abusing each other). RG is also a raging alcoholic now and this break up has increased this 10 fold, from what I could see and what his boss told me. He has no money, no vehicle, and now no home as he was living at his girlfriends place.. I heard a story that last weekend he was thrown into the drunk tank after the police found him passed out in the ditch when he was attempting to drive his bike to the place he was crashing at.
I met up with him and a few of his co-workers (he works for a landscaping company) at Earls where they had apparently been for several hours (I got there at 7 pm). Several co-workers were cut off and kicked out for being too loud/rowdy. People were swearing loudly, breaking glasses, making rude comments, etc.. I was mortified to be sitting with this morons.. RG was no better and decided in his extreme drunkenness that he was going to proclaim his love for me ("My mom always wanted me to be with you!! I love you"), ask repeatedly if I wanted to date him, and try to kiss/hug me.
Ugggggh.
Needless to say, because I am a good person I drove their drunk moronic selves to the boss' house (who as a side note lives with his partner BUT decided to get my # from RG's phone and start texting me when I left.. UGGGGGH again) so they could continue their drunken night while I slipped out to go home.
The first thing I thought was "I am waaaaay too good to hang out with people like that."
RG has texted me several times since asking me to go out with him for dinner - I declined. Fact is, I don't even want to get together on a friendly level.
I am disgusted by him and everyone he associates me from what I saw Friday night.
Yes, what he needs right now is help... I don't want to be that help. I am not willing to be that help. I do not EVER want to be in a situation like Friday again.
How do I break up with a friend? Refuse to answer calls? Tell him I refuse to associate with him until he lays off the liquor? I really don't know..
(The drunks bar bill - because even though I was mortified, I still had the good frame of mind to capture that)
