This is a difficult post to publish..
During the course of the week I THOUGHT about posting something to reflect the traumatic incident that occured, but wasn't sure a) where to start b) how I really felt..
For anyone who follows Canadian news - I am sure you have heard/read about the young mother who (possibly) drowned her 3 month old baby son and 2 year old daughter before going missing.. (and for anyone curious - her body was possibly pulled from the river today)..
Well, I worked with this mother.
I didn't work DIRECTLY with her, per say, as our departments don't work side by side in the hospital.. BUT, I knew who she was and have most likely said hello in passing.
For anyone who doesn't know the story, the possible reasoning for this horror having occurred? Severe post-partum depression.
While it is not possible for me to comment on PPD as I have never experienced it, I have suffered a mild depression so I can relate to how draining it can be.. Combine that with a toddler and a newborn? I can imagine it to be hard.
The reactions to the news has been mixed: More than half of the commenter's were HOPING that this "monster" went off to "kill herself" (or disgusting comments like that) while the other half were more sympathetic towards her recognizing PPD can lead to a psychosis and wishing for her safe return/not believing she murdered her children.
I am not sure if I didn't 'know' her if I would feel like the first half of people who think her to be a 'monster' or if I would still feel sympathy for a woman who obviously did not get the help she needed for a mental health issue.
One of the most heartfelt responses I have read to the news articles was from a mother who had suffered PPD. In a nutshell she said that it is HARD to talk about it - you are surrounded by people congratulating you on the arrival of your child, and you are made to feel like you HAVE the entire world in your grasp.. To be put on that pedestal but to feel like you can't handle it/don't love your child must be horrific.. *I* couldn't imagine speaking those words to anyone. She also went on to say (and it echoed a co-worker who was talking about her history of PPD) that she was AFRAID to tell anyone how she was feeling as she was afraid that she would either be labelled as a bad mother or have her child taken away from her... fortunately, her story had a happy ending and her husband recognized she needed more help than he could provide.
PPD has such a negative stigma attached to it - it's horrible that so many people also dismiss it as not being 'real'.. I am sure that deters some moms from speaking about it as well....
I am not sure where I am going with this post... I am grieving, along with my city, for the two innocent children who lost their lives, their father & grandparents, and especially for their mother who maybe could have been helped...
4 comments:
I agree, I just feel so sorry for the entire family. I sincerely wish she could have had the help she needed. What a tragedy.
Yes, I was very sad to hear about this.
I completely agree with you - when a new baby is born everyone thinks you should be on top of the world. I know the first few weeks of my daughter's life were probably the hardest of my own. There is just so much going on.
I too feel bad for this family who has lost so many...
I feel so sad for the whole family. I can't comment on PPD because I've never been through it but to feel that way must have been awful for her. If it is her that they found in the river, may she rest in peace. And may her little ones rest in peace as well. That is so sad.
Heart aching, We have to find a way to help women with PDD sooner.
Such sadness....
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