Callings

In the past few months I connected with a stranger over Instagram.

Odd?  Really, no, not in this day and age. 

I joined Instagram to share my own random photos and while surfing images of Mazatlan (where I have fond memories) I came across a 20 something fellow who has been living there for close to a year serving with the Christian organization YWAM.

The two of us will 'like' each others photos and add the odd comment - which brings me to my point (and yes, I do have one) - he posted an image of a drawing of India and commented that he seeing this image brought on a strange desire to serve there.  I commented that 'He works in mysterious ways'.. My instagram friend agreed and asked if *I* was being called anywhere...

It made me think.

While my life really isn't conducive to travelling the world, I enjoy it... but WHAT am I being 'called' to do?

2012 has been the year of knocking down/clearing out so much in my life.  I have gained some new friendships and closed the door on some negative old ones.. While I have really struggled with some of the most heart wrenching moments in my life I have also grown as a person.

What am I being called to do?  Right now, I feel deep inside of me that I am being called to live.

Just live.

I have spent too much time in the past worrying.  Worrying about what other people think.  Worrying about money.  Worrying about time.  Just worrying.

I'm tired of worry holding me back from living.

Like the rest of the world, I watched in horror and disbelief at the chaos that unfolded in Sandy Hook this past Friday.  I cried with the world at the loss of 26 people - the majority being children who will never have the chance to live.

What if I were to be on my last day?  Would I be content with what I have done in my life?  No.. No I wouldn't...

I am being called to LIVE in 2013.

How? Little things.  I want to go back to Mazatlan.  I may do this ALONE.  I want to visit the sites my Instagram friend posts about.  Now, I am not silly - I know solo travel to Mexico being a single female is not smart - I do have my good friend D living out there still.. I wouldn't BE alone, but I would be traveling there ALONE.  Going away by myself would actually be HUGE for myself... but more to come on that..

Point being, I am going stop worrying and start living - as that is what I am called to do!

Kicking the habit

Today is officially my ONE YEAR anniversary for having quit smoking!!

It's funny - I didn't WANT to quit smoking, I just knew I needed to for my health and for my wallet..  I enjoyed smoking and struggled to see myself being able to quit... but I did it1

Do I still think of smoking?  Yes.
Do I still MISS smoking?  Occasionally.

I notice now that I am aware of the smell of cigarette smoke on others and it disgusts me... but to be honest, I still strangely crave it on occasion...

Do I feel any different? Yes.

The first few months I didn't notice feeling any different.. but now, I notice my lungs feel better.. When I exercise, I don't get that 'burning' feeling any longer... And believe it, it was not lost on me that I would leave the gym after a really intense workout and light a cigarette...

The few colds I have gotten haven't resulted in chest colds as they would have years past...

My skin looks better.. My teeth are whiter.. the circles under my eyes less...  I just FEEL better.

I know that staying quit will continue to be a challenge but I have made it through the first year!

The one where my computer and I bond

So, I consider myself to be somewhat computer savvy.. I get my computer and it 'gets' me, so naturally we both 'decided' to get nasty viruses last week to complete our bond.. heh

But yes, for the 3rd MONTH in a row I have caught a head cold.  C'mon immune system - what's your problem?! ((I actually blame my stress induced insomnia and stress for the increase in colds)) On the upside, when I was a smoker, those head colds turned into horrible chest colds 100% of the time.  This last one has me with slight rattle in my lungs, but it passed in a few days.  Score one more for kicking the cig habit!

As for my computer... I'm on the computer ALOT, so I could have picked this gem up anywhere.   Somehow the antivirus program I have was not able to detect it and blamo!  I woke up Friday morning, turned on the computer and suddenly my web browser slowed to a snails pace, started shutting itself down and a pop up appeared

As mentioned, I am somewhat computer savvy and realized that a) this is not a program installed on my computer b) A program installed on my computer would not be asking for my credit card info.

I immediately shut down my computer and turned to my IPhone for assistance - googled the problem, found a solution, rebooted under Safe Mode with Networking and used a well known online malware site to 'cure' my computer..  All while going through my own box of Kleenex as my body upped mucus production for this event by 80%.

Gotta love these bugs!

 

 

Even true for those who try to destroy another's happiness. They only destroy themselves in the process and they are the ones who suffer. Send them help and well wishes and walk away....

This past month has found me in that situation - people in my life causing major turmoil in my life.  The cause?  Their own unhappiness, really. 

This upcoming week is possibly going to bring forth MAJOR change in my life (that I am not too thrilled about), so I need to remember to keep MY thoughts and actions positive.

Send some positive thoughts my way, folks!  A storm is a brewin'!!

Absence..

Sorry for my absence, folks!

I'd like to say that I was off doing some amazing wonderful things, but unfortunately, some misfortune has found its way into my life...

I've been taking some time to try to right things and get myself feeling like MYSELF again!

Maybe one day soon I will be able to post some great news for y'all to read... until then, I just have to swing with the punches..

Have a good weekend!

happy thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. ♥

Oct 6.

Guess whose birthday it is today?

 

 

Today, I turn 33. 

 

That is bittersweet... 32 was a horrible year for me, and I am looking forward to a fresh start.  32 started off horribly and it ended horribly... but that is not birthday talk.

 

 

Even though I am not terribly HAPPY about growing older - I am happy to be celebrating the day at a very ritzy spa with my sister and a very close girlfriend.  After that, I am going to have dinner at a vegan burger joint.

 

Nothing fancy, but it sounds like a pretty darn good birthday day to me :-)